I am beginning to return to some of my notes in 1999 to find out relatively speaking where I am today on some of issues. I have not edited this.

Saturday, December 18, 1999

For a variety of reasons I will attempt to explain my present position regarding psychiatric treatment as it pertains to the general population including all illnesses with a psychological component (i.e chronic pain, hypertension, diabetes, migraine and ulcerative colitis)

1.    In every instance of psychiatric illness there is a balance between the biochemical manifestations of disease (insomnia, abnormal appetite, and loss of perspective) and the psychological manifestations of disease (self harming, attitude, harming others, and all psychopathic behaviors). Much of my work is centered on appreciation and development of awareness of the nature of the balance. In my opinion, this requires an intensive look inside. We are very much in debt to Stella Chess who conducted a research project that spanned over 30 years. The results were counter to previously held theories of mental illness. The most striking finding was that a healthy personality occurs most readily when children and young adults are experienced and responded to by significant others in depth, with compassion and with honesty. Severe but correctable behavioral problems result from a superficial and punitive or ingratiating approach to child rearing. When a child is respected for their unique place in life’s scheme then there is no need to lash out with destructive behaviors. She found that children who were appreciated for their unique personality rather than their behavior improved dramatically even into young adulthood.

2.    The look inside is our 4^th Step in AA and now in chronic Pain Anonymous. It is the most difficult Step to approach and master because it asks us to look inside and particularly at character defects. An early theologian, St John of the Cross, believed that spiritual development is beset by a dark night of the soul. In this phase of development, doubts and fears all kinds appear. But our fears are the clues to many of the 4^th Step issues. It is stunning that we see the thread of God’s blueprint. In science it is called insight but in spiritual matters it is a dramatic looking inward. We experience without words the true nature of ourselves. We see ourselves with our most troublesome fears, anxieties, and hopeless feelings. But only through this process are we willing to accept the meaning of the Third Step. The turning over to God our will and our lives is absolutely necessary to navigate the dark night of the soul.