I am not sure what is holding up my writing but my intuition tells me that I am working at a level that is deeper than I can express in words.  I am having to grapple with my faith and with my relationship to God and also my relationship to the other people in my life who have a variety of relationships to God.  It started with the Eckhardt Tolle reading and has continued now for several weeks.  It should be easy enough to integrate what Tolle is saying but that is not really the problem the problem is my continuing ambivalence about the existence of God.

But if a person such as myself is part of a relay race for which there are an infinite number of runners and the baton carries the message of God then it really does not matter whether I can see the finish line.  I am but one of the runners.  It is not my place to question what is in the baton or what the race is all about but it is my place to run and carry the message as fast as I can.  That being the case I should not continue to dillydally about with questions about God's existence.