Jack Bass and the Cookie House
The Cookie House was the site where my father, Stewart Springer in his capacity as a notary public, married Archie Carr (first PhD candidate ever awarded by the University of Florida) and Marjorie Carr (well-known defender of the Ocklawaha River). Jack Bass hired my father, Stewart Springer, in 1935 or 1936 as director of the Bass Biological Laboratory. He organized and funded a shark venture at my dad’s request. As a result my father was awarded the Florida Academy of Science award in 1938 for his scientific paper on two new species of sharks.
Jack Bass was a gonzo, in my opinion, to end all gonzo's. He was a raconteur and had untold wealth from his family. It was thought that he cost the family a great deal because it was rumored that he had eloped with a Russian princess and had to be ransomed for his survival. There are many things that were unknown in that time and many other things that remain a mystery about Jack Bass. But he was an instigator and he instigated many things that proved to be very interesting, very troubling to some, and a delight to others.
For example, he found that my mother didn't want to live upstairs in the big house on the Lab compound and wanted a home of her own. I think he resented this to some extent because he couldn't kid my mother the way he could others. So he built a house for my mom and dad. It was a nice place though a log cabin and somewhat airy in the winter. My mother refused to accept a cookie house so Jack built her a house but with logs lengthwise instead of cookie shaped.
But that wasn’t the real issue. Before the house was occupied Jack Bass stuffed 2 pounds of fresh mullet into mom and dad’s bedsprings. We moved in and within days mother was complaining about the horrible smell and that she couldn't find where it was coming from. She was packing to leave when Jack drove up and admitted that he had stuffed the mullet in the bedsprings. He arranged to have everything taken care of and cleaned up the house entirely. The main reason for bringing this up is that it was my first experience with a gonzo.
I realize that I had no idea at age 4 when I first came into contact with Jack Bass that he was a gonzo. Now that I look back on it there were many reasons why he was a gonzo. In my own personal opinion a gonzo is a conglomeration of Hunter S Thompson and the gonzo of Muppet fame. A gonzo is an outlier, a person on the fringe of life, but also demanding the attention of all. In the scheme of things a gonzo makes slack in any system. The slack keeps a system from breaking down into chaos. It changes a horrifying situation into a palatable one. A few rounds with the gonzo of the Muppet Show illustrate that there is a fine line between dead serious and terribly funny.
. There was a dining hall in the main building with a long dining table and a continuous bench around the table. He could simply stuff anything under the cushions where someone was to be seated. So Jack Bass stuffed fart bladders, at strategic locations, under the cushions. I remember that some of his targets were itinerant naturalists female schoolteachers. He would sit at the head of the table before anyone got there. When a little lady schoolteacher sat down on the fart bladder, he would hit the table with a crashing fist sending plates and silverware skittering back-and-forth. He laughed and laughed and I foolishly laughed with him. Later in life I saw a few WC Field’s movies and have come to believe that I haven’t known seen any one quite like Jack Bass. To me he was very much like the way WC Fields acted in movies I have seen.
As much as I could, I hung out where he napped in the afternoon under the trees near his home. It was not an usual napping scene in that there were three Great Danes napping beside him and he in a hammock with two pearl handled pistols. But Jack's wife Elsa was constantly trying to persuade mother to be more accepting of Jack's eccentric ways. Incidentally because the Great Danes developed heart-worm in rapid succession, Jack replaced them with Boxers. I mention this because I loved the Great Danes a great deal and they were always gentle with me. But the Boxers would run up and knock me down every time. They were constantly slobbering on me so I didn't hang out under the trees while Jack napped as much as I did with the Great Danes were there.
Looking back I don't know how it all came together. Mother was adamant about my going out in a canoe by myself, but Jack just insisted that I go and have an adventure. So I went. I remember being a bit frightened at first but as I was able to navigate the canoe to settle down and went under the highway bridge. I was in a creek which was no more than 6 feet wide and 4 feet deep. The water was very clear. All of a sudden I focused on a huge sawfish staring right at me just about 3 foot away. His rostrum was right at the bow of the canoe. I froze; frightened and waited as he gently slid by. It was as if he owned the creek. So I didn't go any further up the creek. Feeling relieved I turned around and headed for home.
By the time I was five years old I had met the most interesting, the most devilish, the most fun loving human being I have ever known or seen since, Jack Bass.
